If it means a lot to you

i regret not having the courage to ask her out. I regret not confessing my feelings towards her. I regret not doing anything. Should have been a little selfish for myself. But its alright, i guess. Seriously theres no point sulking but everytime when people ask me about her, my heart immediately sank, tbh. Emo thoughts and rainy nights.

I miss you, S

this picture sums up perfectly. Up till now, im pretty nuch quite not over it. I miss an opportunity of a lifetime and i am pretty sure second chances dont come easy. She's a different person now and tbh, im pretty disappointed. She is the most perfect person, to me of course, and i lost it. I lost the perfect person. There are times i picture us together and it felt super good but when o snap back into reality, i feel nothing and empty. I rarely share my thoughts or emotions to anyone but i think this time i cant take it anymore. I need to tell someone about it but people are always busy with their stuffs and i dont wanna bother them with my silly problems. At least on this blog, only readers could just read and om sure no one reads my blog so im fine hahahaha.
I know some of my friends might be thinking why not move on and just find another girl. Thats the problem, i cant find any girl as great, as perfect, as her. And you know whats the sad thing? The sad thing is she will never know about it. She will never know how i feel about her because by then, she may have fallen for another guy. And i will be just be another memory to her.
I miss you.

i have make a decision to forget about it. I dont want to lose a friend for some stupid rs shit. So yeah, guess its time to move on.

It has been a while since i actually wrote something. Life has been pretty depressing nowadays. I keep thinking on things that prolly will never happen and actually try to live in them. You can say that im living in a denial tho. But what can i do right. My real life is pretty much sucky most of the time. Most days i feel super lonely, because i dont have anyone to talk to. And when i do i will push them away cause its tiring. I blame no one except for myself obviously but i hate it so much. All i want is someone who is willing to stay for my nonsense and help me go through this 2 years of my shitty life with me. Is it so hard to ask for. And the girls i like is either old, young or like other races. Really hope my life gets better soon.

i was too dependent on her that when she left, i felt empty inside. sucks to be me.

Kinda miss the feeling. Hais, no point talking abt it also.

Chapter closed

Unfair decisions are the worst. I just feel super shitty now. Nonetheless i hope she's happy with whoever.

It wasnt supposed to turn out this way. Getting way out of hand.

Recently most of my friends are feeling down and having problems. I kinda feel shitty not knowing what to do to help. But i hope that you guys are strong enough to overcome this. Jiayou guys! Sending positive vibes to all!

Eventho i know this isnt going anywhere, at least make it count for the both of us.

Dont take my kindness and patience for granted.

I know things happen for a reason. But why do i feel that its unfair. They always never come my way. Honestly im tired. People look at me as a very laid back type of guy but theres so many things in my head that its tiring me. I wish i could just restart my life all over again or go back to the past to amend my mistakes. Fts, i need someone to talk to.

It was nice seeing you after what it seems like forever. Why cant we stay like this. Even though not the way that i wanted it to be, but at least meet up once every few weeks or so. Ugh im so jealous at the people who can meet you everyday. Sigh sigh sigh!!!

I need a distraction. A big distraction.

I have all these questions in my head and hoping someone would give me answers to it. I mean seriously, what if...

NS

Recently i have been generous with my feelings. Tbh i never did open up to anyone before and most of the time, my friends are usually the one who will express their feelings. Ok maybe sonetimes i do but not entirely. And well it felt good actually but vulnerable and i hate that. And yes thats when i realised that i should have done something a year ago and now its gone/too late. Prolly shes off with some charming arrogant guy which prolly im gonna hate(but just gonna pretend happy for her). Hais, just hope for the best. No point regretting. Nasi sudah menjadi bubur.

When you have all this anger but you dont know how to vent it. Ugh its just so damn frustrating.
I wish i could migrate somewhere and leave everything behind. Start fresh. Where certs, papers basically,  doesnt mean shit to anyone. All i have to do is work hard and be efficient. Why cant life be much simpler like this. Why why why why why. Why am i suddenly talking about this. Asdfghjkl

To anyone whom it may concern, always remember im always free and available to help. I know im not one of the best advisors in the world but i know i can always give a listening ear and at time to time, interest you with a sarcastic comment.